About Dare to Hope

Dare to Hope was founded by Paul Dear and his wife Cherie when the 1991 Norm Smith Medalist and Hawthorn Football Club Premiership player was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer in September 2020.

In addition to sharing their journey on Instagram under the handle The Cancer Patient's Wife, Cherie shares their journey below...

Up until September 2020 Paul and I were like any other family with children. Life after playing professional football for Paul was like that for many other families - focused on making a living and raising four children who all had a passion for sport. Our lives consisted of juggling after school training and multiple weekend games of sport, work, family and friends. We’ve always tried to have some involvement in our local community too in a variety of ways. Life was busy.

Although still young, we were starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of raising children and work. We had started to think about the next stage in our lives. We dreamt of easing the everyday pressures; children reaching an age of independence, working less and travelling more. When the Covid pandemic hit in March 2020, like many Australians, it really changed things and we thought that life was tough.

In September 2020 we found out just how tough life really could be and our lives changed irrevocably when Paul was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. This came just three years after Paul’s younger sister Nicky had passed away from stage four bowel cancer – a completely unrelated diagnosis.

As Paul’s diagnosis was unfolding a very close friend lost her beloved sister to pancreatic cancer just nine weeks after diagnosis. When Paul received the same diagnosis we were terrified. Nine weeks just wasn’t long enough! But it prompted us into action.

After being told that Paul’s diagnosis was incurable, inoperable and terminal and feeling helpless, hopeless and powerless and fearful of the side effects we’d witnessed during his sister's journey I started exploring.

We had seen Paul’s sister Nicky’s journey with chemotherapy and knowing how dire Paul’s diagnosis was with metastases to his liver and spleen, we knew that time wasn’t on our side and we knew how devastating the experience of chemotherapy could be on the body. We looked for the exceptions to those outcomes. And we discovered those who defied doctor's predictions and managed the side effects of chemotherapy better than anticipated, all had one thing in common – they integrated other approaches and therapies into their treatment.

This inspired us to start believing that Paul’s outcome could be different – where initially we didn’t dare to hope that his outcome could be different to those who had gone before him, finding these outliers gave us HOPE. And HOPE is a precious commodity.

Instead of fear and tears – it helped us live with positivity. It connected us with others on the same journey but beating their own path, it drove us to keep searching and looking for better outcomes. It helped us live with joy instead of dread and kept inspiring us to live our best lives irrespective of the dire hand we’d been dealt.

Having hope, living with optimism and trying integrative therapies doesn’t necessarily change the long term outcome but it can change how much time you do have left and what experiences along the way are like.

Now, because of our experience since Paul's diagnosis over 21 months ago, we want to try to help patients and families diagnosed with this dreaded disease.

We hope by sharing our story we can not only inspire others to “Dare to Hope” - we are saying enough is enough. The only way to do this is to raise awareness of the very real impact of this disease on families and their loved ones and to raise funds for research so that pancreatic cancer treatment and outcomes are brought into the 21st century.

Since Paul's diagnosis, we've learned the following lessons:

Seize the day

Despite travel restrictions, health scares and surgeries for Paul, we've made the most of every opportunity and spent time away together as a family living in the moment.

We found so much joy in every experience and created precious memories along the way. We have learnt that time is precious, no one knows what’s around the corner, so make the most of every opportunity.

Enjoy the little things

We have found joy in the every day, precious time with friends and family, the beauty of nature, we created a family ritual of trying as often as possible to visit a local marine park to watch the sun go down. It made us stop, take a breath, and give thanks for another day spent together.

Lean on your community

By opening up about our situation we have received support and care from more places than we knew possible. The support provided by people we are connected to through children, sport, work and community has kept us afloat. Knowing people care and want to help keeps our spirits up and the practical support of having a meal roster when we really needed, relieved us of the stress of shopping and preparing delicious home cooked meals.

Take good care of your health

Have regular health checks, know your body, if something doesn’t feel right pursue treatment until you get answers.

But ultimately good health is up to you. Even with a cancer diagnosis it’s important to take care of the basics; exercise, good nutrition and good sleep.

The Dear Family:

Maya, Nate, Harry, Calsher, Paul & Cherie

Follow our journey on Instagram